(In my freshman year of college, I read a wonderful, zany rendition of a classic fairytale. I have been quoting snippets from it ever since. I did not keep the textbook and had not been able to find the story until now--it showed up online recently! Here is the story with a few of my own adjustments. If you have not seen this version before, then listen to the sounds that the words make. Read it out loud and you will begin to get it.)
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut
(Hairs annulled furry starry. Tolled en udder warts, warts welcher altar-girdle deferent former once inner regional virgin.)
Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge, dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset, "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, stopper torque wet strain-jars!"
"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft.
Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.
"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"
"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."
"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt-court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den—O bore!"
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt-court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet any-mall pot honor groin-murder's nut-cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a-raft attar cordage, an ranker dough-ball. "Comb ink, sweat-hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet-rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.
"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically, "Watt bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"
"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat-hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.
"O, Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"
"Battered small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.
"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"
Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped yawn pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.
MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum-stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strain-jars.
By Howard L. Chace, with some adjustments by Leon Archibald
The illustrations are by Gustave Doré